Monday, October 13, 2008

Naked Without My Eyebrows - Reflections on Posing as a 1950s Housewife

Turns out I'm kind of sensitive about my balding eyebrows. I've never been the "girly-girl" type, but after spending so much time with myself over the past two weeks, I've come to the realization that there are simply not that many hairs left on the thin parts of those brows! Oh, but I guess I've always known my eyebrows were a weak spot of the fortress of my beauty...

There is so much to say about the past two weeks, and I hate rambling on and on, so I will try to be as concise as possible.

My friend Cindi asked me what I liked most about the experiment. My answer was thoughtful and sweet - "I like the way my Dear Husband notices how good I smell and how nice I look. It is as if he has really shown me more affection than usual. I like having him kiss me and smell me and look approvingly at me." Then she asked what I disliked most about the experiment. My answer was short and sweet - "Everything else." But Cindi knows what I know - which is the truth is way more complex than all that.

Let's start with what I did not like. What did I NOT like? This is a difficult question to answer.

I didn't necessarily like the volume of child-related chores which are usually split between Jon and I but I LIKED making sure my children were clean and cared for.

I had difficulty with the timing of after-school activities and the end of the day chores (cooking, freshening myself up, making a cocktail) but I LIKED being able to provide a clean, quiet, well-managed household for my Husband to come home to. I LIKED watching him relax for a change after a hard day's work.

I also became increasingly uncomfortable spending so much time on my personal appearance and smell but I LIKED the way my Husband began flirting with me again, after so much time - it was almost as if we were in college again.

I wasn't crazy about feeling so subservient most of the time, but I LIKED going with the flow of things and just being basically an employee for a while instead of upper management.

It was nearly impossible to keep my smart-ass mouth shut and instead let a sweet, polite voice speak all of the time, but I LIKED the way people reacted to someone who was easy to get along with all of the time.

Now what did I LIKE about the experiment, also a difficult question to answer.

I liked having the day begin with clockwork and a sense of organized accomplishment, but I DISLIKED rising so early and having grumpy sleepy heads curse my very existence.

I liked looking nice for a change and ditching the t-shirts for awhile, but I DISLIKED the fear of not being pretty enough or clean enough for people's expectations. PLUS, I disliked calling attention to myself by looking clean and nice in my little world of existence where slackerism and casual are king.

I liked how my kids pitched in on chores, but I DISLIKED hearing them beg me over and over, day after day, to stop being 1950s Housewife and be normal mommy again. This one is self-explanatory and the reason the experiment was an experiment and not a lifestyle change.

I liked how the house looked and felt, but I DISLIKED how that look and feeling lasted only until the children returned at 3:00, at which time, the twister motion of their beings set things back on their regular tilt again.


Jon said many times that he felt useless throughout, and I tried to remind him about how useful he was - at the office. Turns out, he ENJOYS being my partner... and even when I begged him not to, he was sneaking around, behind my back, getting a few of my chores done. He has mentioned that he has enjoyed a vacation from some of his usual chores, but he really doesn't care for subservient Nisa, which is why I punched him in the crotch first thing this morning, just to let him know his punk rock babe was back online.

I have to say - I like taking more responsibility for the household chores as well, and will probably continue to make more and more of an effort to keep things running smoothly - beyond just the rearing of the children, my previous most important task. We have already talked about getting a chore schedule and chart up for each family member and also figuring out how we can share cooking duties. This weekend, we restocked all the cleaning supplies we needed, and this afternoon, I power-washed the back porch.

And I've stowed away the make-up and perfume. But not the eyebrow liner... that one may have to stay. I think I'm entitled to it. It really is best for the world that we live in if MY eyebrows are completely filled in. After all, it's the polite thing to do.

- Nisa Sharma (formerly Mrs. Porter, but still married to Jon!)

1 comment:

BR said...

I love the statistics - only 45 seconds to coverup the cookie burns eh?

46 loads of dishes and 50 meals cooked is staggering. whew. I have to go take a nap after contemplating those numbers...